Through My Eyes: Living as a Young Black Woman in America

Hey guys! 

My name is Denisia Milas and I’m one of the 2020 POPFLEX POWERGIRLS! This blog post is essentially a journal entry; it’s my emotions laid out in light of current events. 

I didn’t expect 2020 to unfold the way it has- I don’t think anyone did. I came into the year on my grind hitting the gym 4-6 days a week. I was on a roll and it was GREAT! Until it wasn’t.  

Coronavirus shifted from a murmur to a full blown pandemic. Where there was global fear, there was unity to match; we were “alone together.” Yet, in the midst of it all, more lives were being taken unjustly. 

Ahmaud Arbery was murdered while jogging around his community. Breonna Taylor was murdered in her living room. George Floyd suffered [and was MURDERED] with a knee on his neck. 

Racism, police brutality, and civil injustice are nothing new to me. It’s the reality I live in being black in America. It’s the reality of every black man, woman, and child in America. 

There’s times when I don’t even know how to feel. I’ll have a torrent of emotions ravaging inside me. Sometimes my only form of expression is crying.

I cry because I’m angry. I cry because I’m hurt. I cry because I’m fearful for my family. I cry because I don’t see justice. I cry because I’m overwhelmed. Quite honestly, I cry because I’m exhausted.

Continuing to fight the same fight is so mundane! 😭  History is literally just repeating itself. If people had more compassion and empathy the world would be a much better place! There would be peace. There would be love. There would be unity. There would be EQUALITY. 

We’ve been advocating for our rights since the 50’s. Even back then peaceful protests were met with violence. Police officers were dawned in full riot gear wielding batons they used to beat protesters with. People were sprayed with high pressure water hoses and dogs were released on them. People were being murdered just for being black. 

The Black Lives Matter movement is deeper than the hashtags and protests. It’s about being heard without judgement. It’s about calling attention to prevalent issues. It’s about making sure the roots of the issue aren’t overlooked. 

People want things to go back to “normal”. “Normal” to them is sweeping racism under the rug. “Normal” is refusing to acknowledge privilege. “Normal” is the ostracization of black Americans.

I know that they’re uncomfortable with everything happening, and I don’t blame them- it is uncomfortable. What I want people to realize though is that black Americans live with this discomfort their entire lives. This is our normal. 

In spite of all the negativity, I’m thankful to have been able to have so many positive interactions with friends as well as strangers recently. It’s refreshing to speak to people who genuinely want to understand me! It makes me so happy to know that I have support flowing in from so many directions! 

Being able to express myself has been one of the best ways I’ve been able to keep myself grounded in the midst of everything. I know that change can happen. I know that change will happen. It brings me joy knowing that I’m helping make it happen.

(P.S. if anyone wants to talk feel free to send me a DM on Instagram! @niesebaybii_rio)

This post was written by #POPFLEXPOWERGIRL Denisia Milas. Denisia provided all photos for this post.